Car Funnies

I am definitely not a car person, as you can probably tell….. Mal and Jacob make fun of me for all the stupid things I’ve said all the time. xD (On the bright side, maybe I’ve learned something since then? But don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll end up saying more stupid stuff in the future.) Anyway, here are some of the funny things that have happened in the past year.

Last year, we were on our way down the road with a load of tires on a wagon, so we could put them on a car we were going to drive. My mom met us along the way, and we had to explain to her that we were not, in fact, taking the tires for a walk. “No, Mom, we’re just taking them for a walk! We thought they needed some air!” No pun intended. I changed one of the tires—it’s not quite as complicated as my grade 9 home etiquette course suggested—but while I was trying to tighten one of the nuts, my hand slipped and I faceplanted into the side of the car and then fell. Then I was playing with the wheel nuts. The boys were talking about the starter, and meanwhile I slid all the nuts onto my fingers and then hung my fingers upside down and proudly declared, “I’m hanging nuts from my fingers!”

While working on one of Jacob’s cars (the black one from last June/July), I was telling him about my friend Allison. I said, “She hit a pothole and the rim came off!” Mal looked at me and said, “…don’t you mean the hubcap?” Apparently, those are different. “I hope you didn’t tell anyone else that. ‘Yeah she was driving and then her whole rim just like came off and rolled across the road!'” Yeah, let’s hope I didn’t tell anyone else that. xD

Last summer, while we were eating ice cream in town, sitting on the back deck of the ice cream place, a fancy blue car pulled into the parking lot and here was our conversation:

Jacob: It’s a standard.
Me (to Mal): Only he would point that out. I would say that it’s blue, but he’ll explain what kind it is, the transmission, what kind of tires it has…
Jacob: …how much gas is left in the tank…
Me: Yeah, how much gas is left in the tank…
Jacob: And it’s a 2.2 litre.
Me: I don’t know what that means. My car takes a lot more than 2.2 litres of gas.
Jacob: It’s oil, not gas.
Me: Ohhhh!
Jacob: Hey, how many spark plugs does your four wheeler have? Four?
Me: What’s a spark plug?
Jacob: You don’t know what a spark plug is?
Me: No…
Jacob: I can tell you where the crankshaft is.
Me: *laughing* Crankshaft…xD
Jacob: You can find something funny about everything.
Me: Yup! Yup I can! *laughing so hard I can barely breathe*
Car: *drives away*
Me: *listens* Maybe it is a standard…

After I had my winter tires put on my car, we were talking about getting rims for my car and they checked the size. It was 14. A couple of days later, this conversation happened, and all I could remember was ’14’ but I couldn’t remember exactly what it was for.

Jacob: What size are your tires?
Me: 14?
Jacob: 215?
Me: 14.
Jacob: 215?
Me: 14.
Jacob: Okay, the rims are 14. What size are the tires? 215?
Me: 14?

By the way, 175. xD He checked. xD

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